Coaching, Self-Development, Wellness
We used the word “enjoy” in that title for a reason. Social confidence is important for building relationships. This is true of the introvert, the extrovert and the average person who is somewhere between those two personality extremes.
You can enjoy a much more successful career when you have powerful social skills. Your personal relationships benefit. The person who’s confident when interacting with others has a high level of self-esteem. They enjoy a powerful self-belief that they are capable in social situations.
That’s not to say that introverts don’t have wonderful and rewarding lives. They simply have a view of their best life that’s different from an extroverted person.
By the way, it’s often believed that introverts despise interacting with people. That’s almost never the case. It’s simply that they would prefer to spend more time on their own. That’s how they recharge their batteries. The extroverted person does the same thing by spending a lot of time with other people. Each of these individuals is different in many ways, and no one approach is worse or better than the other.
That having been said, introverts often want better skills at socializing. They understand they can improve some aspect of their life if they had more confidence when dealing with people. If this sounds like you, we’re here to help. Here are 4 ways that have been proven to help introverts build confidence in social settings.
1 – Don’t Overdo It
Introverts can enjoy socializing just as much as introverts. In many cases they do. The difference is that the introverted person loses physical and mental energy from socializing too frequently or for too long.
If you want to perform better in social situations, limit your exposure. Pick your battles. Don’t try to drink from a fire hydrant. Plan short periods of time where you’re going to expand your social skills over the next week or month. When you feel your energy starts to wane, return home or wherever it is you feel most comfortable recharging your batteries.
2 – Prepare Ahead of Time
You might be an introvert that doesn’t have much experience interacting with others. That’s okay. You can learn how to socialize. Do some prep work before you know you’re going to deal with others.
Think of the conversation beforehand. What’s the environment going to be like? Who’s going to be there? This type of homework can help you succeed in social situations and become more confident and capable.
3 – Remember … Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day
The old saying that it took a long time to build one of the greatest civilizations in human history is important here. Big accomplishments don’t happen overnight. If you are extremely introverted, work on one step at a time to become more of a social animal.
Maybe the first thing you want to do is get comfortable leaving your house. You might leave your home and walk 100 feet down the road and then return home. If that’s a big deal for you, give yourself a huge pat on the back!
You did great. Once you’re comfortable leaving home, then strike up a conversation with a stranger. Take one small step at a time and before you know it you’ll have walked a mile down the road to improving your social skills.
4 – Look at Rejection like a Successful Salesperson
The best salespeople get excited when they hear, “No.” They know that every rejection gets them closer to making their next sale. You can look at social rejection the same way. See the situation objectively. What can you learn? What did you do right? What did you do wrong? Take rejection or social failure as an opportunity to get better, and then move on.
Introverts aren’t necessarily scared of people. They usually aren’t. They just prefer to spend a minimal amount of time in the presence of others. If this is yo, and you want to build your social confidence, the tips we just shared with you can help. They make you feel more comfortable when interacting with people. You’ll also be proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone.
Coaching, Entrepreneurs, Self-Care, Self-Development
Have you ever had to deal with someone who made you want to pull every single hair out of your head and scream at the top of your lungs? Do you have to deal with a person like this on a regular basis?
There’s no way to totally avoid difficult people. They’re going to be in your social circle, your workplace, or even your family. In order to maintain harmonious relationships, preserve your sanity, and just survive, here are 10 strategies to deal with difficult people.
- Stay Calm
No matter how much a person drives you crazy, you can’t lose your cool. Learn some strategies to help you stay calm when you feel the anger and frustration coming on. Remembering to take a deep breath usually works for me. Then, follow that up with something like counting to ten, visualizing something peaceful, or using affirmations. This will help you to handle the situation in a calm and controlled fashion. You can always unload your stress later in a healthier way — such as during a workout.
- Be Kind
Difficult people don’t always want to ruin our lives. In their mind they believe they are right and justified in their actions. Therefore, they may not be aware at all that they cause so much trouble. When dealing with someone like this, sometimes it is best to assume they have good intentions, so do your best be patient and forgiving. I know — it’s not easy, but consider exercising empathy and compassion when dealing with others. Imagine the struggle they’re having, so that you can address the situation in a peaceful manner.
- Look for the Hidden Need
Often when someone is being difficult, it’s because of some unmet need below the surface. It may not have anything at all to do with the interaction you’re having with them. Sometimes, you can figure out what this need is, provide something that will meet it, and defuse the situation. For example, let’s say this person feels undervalued for the work they do for their boss. If you can take a moment to show a little appreciation, they may become easier to deal with. Also, it could improve your relationship with them overall.
- Listen
Sometimes people just need someone to listen to them. Listen to the person without being judgmental and again, show them some empathy. This alone could be enough to defuse the situation and make the other person more reasonable. You both might experience a little relief afterwards.
- Ask Questions to Clarify
Effective communication is key. Don’t pretend you understand just to get rid of someone. This will likely cause more problems ahead. Instead, ask questions to clarify. If you’re in the middle of a conflict, asking open-ended questions can uncover what’s lying underneath the undesirable behavior.
- Seek Support
If possible, talk to colleagues or others who have dealt with this person in the past to get some perspective. There’s a good chance others feel exactly the same way you do, but they may already understand the behavior or have a tactic for dealing with that person. At the very least, they can listen to you and empathize. It’s much easier to handle a difficult situation when you feel supported.
- Talk to the Person Privately
Talk to the person privately when you’re in a calm, patient frame of mind. In this case, you’re not actively trying to stop the problem behavior. You’re simply letting the person know the effect it’s having. Express to them how their words and actions make you feel. Don’t blame or seek a solution, because this will almost certainly be met with more resistance. Give them a chance to examine their own behavior and possibly change.
- Take Action and Get Relief
Is there some action you could take that would provide relief? For example, maybe you could handle your communications with this person differently. If the meaning in emails is lost in translation, try a more face-to-face approach. Tones or gestures help to convey meaning, and can be beneficial in most cases. Or if the in-person communication isn’t working, try switching to more email correspondence instead. Just be sure to send detailed correspondence in order to avoid further confusion.
- Defuse with Humor
Make the difficult situation into a joke and laugh it off. By making it light and humorous, you may be able to draw the other person’s attention to their behavior without being confrontational or emotional. Just be mindful not to go too heavy on sarcasm, or the person will take offense.
- Learn to Say No
Sometimes, our natural inability to say no is the cause of conflict. Get better at saying “no” and turning down opportunities that will bring you into contact with difficult people. Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries are not only beneficial, they are a necessity.
Once you’ve figured out the most effective strategies for dealing with a difficult person, take note of what worked and what didn’t. Examine what worked in some situations, but not in others. There’s a good chance you’ll run into a difficult person like this again in the future, so be ready.
